Thoughts from the Bus Stop

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I love this year's Christmas poster from CAN (the Churches Advertising Network). It made me grin whilst battling through the crowds at Victoria station.

Green Wing: And next week on 'No F***ing Sense', I'll be waxing an owl...

I love love LOVE Green Wing. The pre-launch trailers for the show totally put me off. I couldn't believe it had any connection to Smack The Pony, (it's devised and produced by Victoria Pile, whose credits include Spitting Image, Smack The Pony and Los Dos Bros), it looked like rubbish. But it's fantastic - dark, surreal fun, with a cast drawn from many of my favourites shows - Black Books, Smack The Pony, The Book Group, The Office AND Spaced. (Great to see Stephen Merchant pop up in one episode too - working in the path lab.)

I really enjoy the bits involving minor character Harriet 'Mumsy' Schulenburg - losing children, fishing mashed potato out of her handbag. Mark Heap is a joy as pathetic, obsessive Dr Alan Statham, hopelessly devoted to undeserving HR boss Joanna. And Michelle Gomez - what a body! I never noticed while she was playing Janice in The Book Group, but blimey, missus - as permanently-on-heat Sue Hill she gets the chance to work it... great legs, madam. And then there's the delightful Julian Rhind-Tutt as Mac, causing many hearts (and other organs) to flutter. I have to link to this: blogger Sophie's montage of the Mac and Caroline kiss (perfect for we who have to get our romantic kicks vicariously...). She's a Mac/Caroline shipper - good girl. As if the appalling Guy Secretan stands a chance with Caroline... tuh!

27.9.05: Edited to add The Green Wing Gallery on the British Sitcom Guide.

Sally Phillips: 'I had tried to become a Christian at school...'

'I had tried to become a Christian at school, but been put off by someone coming in to talk to the Christian Union and explaining that God had sent them a pastel green Volvo estate car.'

Smack The Pony's Sally Phillips on how she became a Christian (via rejesus, originally from Third Way). I bet she'd be fun to go for a drink with - at least if I don't manage that in this life, there'll be plenty of time in the next. Not to knock Sir Cliff of course, but it's nice to know there are well-known Christians who are a bit more on my wavelength...

Honda: Hate Something, Change Something

Still from Wieden & Kennedy's 'Hate Something Change Something' ad for Honda, 2004

I LOVE the ad for Honda's new diesel engine - the one with the dirty, noisy engines flying through a animated landscape of rainbows and peacocks and exotic topiary, been shot down by bunnies wearing ear protectors, while Garrison Keillor sings a specially written folk song.

Click here for the full animation and news on the site they're launching to accompany the ad. Altogether now, "in the key of 'Grrr'...":

"Hate something, change something
Hate something, change something
Make something bett-errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...'

'It looks sort of like she sat on her wedding cake.'

'It looks sort of like she sat on her wedding cake.' Oh my, are you in for a treat... feast your eyes on Ugly Wedding Dress. Does exactly what it says on the tin.

Falling and laughing

Is 'No Roots' by Faithless the most pompous record ever?
'...Its notion of intellectual profundity involves delivering the line "Hey Mister Rich, why don't you help the poor?" without collapsing into helpless giggles...'

It was 37 years ago today - and Sgt Pepper cover has still failed to pay
'..."In one work Marcel Duchamp meets Tracey Emin in the desert, with three camp cowboys. In another he meets Elvis and the Spice Girls."...'

Heartbreaking Country Ballad Paralyzes Trucking Industry
'..."There's been an alarming number of loads that don't make it to their destinations. And the ones that do make it are usually behind schedule, because they're being loaded, transported, and unloaded by crews brought low by the thought of a good-loving woman a man loves best packing everything up but her wedding dress and going back to the town she never should've left."...'

Like a broken pencil

'Madam, life without you was like... a broken pencil.'
'Explain?'
'Pointless...'
;)

Reasons to be cheerful: 1, 2, 3...

1. I've just started a History of Costume course at Brighton Museum and I'm really enjoying it. I get to talk about clothes for three hours a week!

2. I made it to the Quentin Blake exhibition at the Gilbert Collection at Somerset House and it was wonderful. Filled me with joy. And now I want to buy the catalogue and his Drawing for the Artistically Undiscovered. I used to be able to draw and I need to pick up a pencil and knock the rust off.

3. The new series of Black Books starts 11th March!!!

Favourite Miranda-from-Sex-&-The-City Moment 214

At Charlotte and Harry's wedding, Miranda walks out of the room to avoid the bouquet-throwing. It hits her on the back of the head...

Lenny Henry

Got to see Mr Lenny Henry's gig at the Gardner Arts Centre on Friday - free, courtesy of Virtual Brighton! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you My First Byline.

Dressing Like A Christian

Fabulous...

Patsy (to Saffy): 'Care about her? You may dress like a Christian but the similarity ends there.'

Only when I laugh

Would anyone else be freaked out by walking into a pub to join a birthday celebration, and finding yourself introduced to your GP, who turns out to be the girlfriend of one of the birthday girl's friends? No? Just me then...

A fine Saturday night was spent at Brighton's Komedia, at the Krater Comedy (or is that Komedy?) Club, compered as ever by the ludicrously energetic Stephen Grant. Favourite act was Lucy Porter. Never heard of her before, but she was brilliant - and managed to totally win over the crowd despite being (a) five foot nothing (b) on first, so folk weren't that drunk yet. Cute AND funny - I hate people like that.

Yesterday I saw Harry Potter. Well, why not? I'd never read any of the books, and had avoided the movie hype, but even so it's pretty good fun, if a little long. Lots of top-notch actors - including a bizarre cameo by John Cleese and 20 seconds of the wonderful Julie Walters. Folk flying, folk turning invisible, secret rooms and fantastical monsters - made me realise how much I miss reading fairytales - might have to have a Grimm session sometime soon. Also made me realise how much my movie-going companion looks like Harry - not an insult, dear - honest!

Emo Phillips gag

'I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. so I ran over and said "Stop! don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said.
I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"
He said, "Like what?"
I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?"
He said, "Religious."
I said, "Me too! Are you christian or buddhist?"
He said, "Christian."
I said, "Me too! Are you catholic or protestant?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me too! Are you episcopalian or baptist?"
He said, "Baptist!"
I said, "Wow! Me too! Are you baptist church of god or baptist church of the lord?"
He said, "Baptist church of god!"
I said, "Me too! Are you original baptist church of god, or are you reformed baptist church of god?"
He said, "Reformed baptist church of god!"
I said, "Me too! Are you reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1879, or reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915?"
He said, "Reformed baptist church of reformation of 1915!"
I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.'
Emo Philips

The Good Life

I am so into The Good Life at the moment. They've been re-running it on BBC2, and I've never watched it as a adult - I'd never realised how brilliant it is. When it was just something my parents watched, I was of course duty-bound to find it 'booooring!'.

It's so well-written, very funny and with a fantastic cast of characters. Just flick through some of these stills. Paul Eddington as the hen-pecked Jerry with his filthy laugh. Felicity Kendal (Barbara), who, back in 1976, was the Kylie of the buttocks world, and definitely the thinking man's (ie. my Dad's) crumpet. Strangely enough Richard Briers (Tom) always reminds me of Dad - even looks rather like Dad did in '76...

Star performance, however, must be Penelope Keith as redoubtable snob Margot, swooshing in and out of rooms in double-layered chiffon and a selection of bejewelled turbans, intimidating members of the Music Society and patronising tradesmen: "I sellotaped it to the handle of your pickaxe!"

Amazon: The Good Life - Complete (DVD)
British Sitcom Guide: The Good Life

Victoria Wood

Went to see one of my comic heroes - Victoria Wood - at the Albert Hall. She excels herself everytime. Who else could get an hour of organ-rupturing comedy out of having an emergency hysterectomy? Like all great comedians, her comedy comes the hard way - she's frank about eating disorders and depression, honest about her marriage and family life.

After taking the mickey out of Paul Daniels, she adds, 'Poor Debbie McGee - everyone has a go at her, when all she did was fall in love with a bald magician - and we all do that...' We got to meet glamourous cruise singer Stacy-Leanne; recently discovered when a camera crew arrived on her ship The Watery Queen, to film a docu-soap for the BBC. I don't think I've ever been in the same room as my dad when someone used (no, sang) the word 'clitoris'. '...You didn't say, "Hey, what's this?"...' Fantastic.

Victoria's promo for this tour had included appearing on Parkinson with her béte noire Anne 'Widdy' Widdicombe, and guesting in the wonderful SMTV's Friends spoof Chums. Hey, you should make up your own Chums storyline.

From the ridiculous to the sublime

The weekend before last veered from the ridiculous to the sublime. On Saturday, I took a coach trip with 18 esteemed colleagues to Monkey World. Yes, Monkey World. And a 9am start, on a Saturday! Once we'd hung around for 45 minutes waiting in vain for the dozen or so hungover no-shows (and I'd grown accustomed to the all-pervading smell of Turns-Your-Tongue-Blue Pickled Onion Monster Munch), we set off for Wareham, Dorset. A great day. Spent time with old friends, met some new ones, had a wee dram. We all got back way past our bedtimes, but without leaving anyone behind, or indeed bringing any additional primates back with us (despite the best efforts of the more simian-smitten amongst us). And our inflight entertainment? Why, Mighty Joe Young and King Kong, of course.

And so to Sunday, and something completely different. Bjork was, as expected, stunning. Accompanied by Matmos, a Canadian throat singer called Tagaq, a full orchestra, electronic harpist Zeena Parkins and a 14-piece choir from Greenland; it was, as a live show should be, a wonderful assault on the senses. White feathers falling through a beam of light over Bjork's seated silouhette, as she cranked the handle of a music box. Scary guttural belches and shrieks emanating from Tagaq's svelte, satin-clad, gyrating form. The giggles of the Inuit choirgirls as they bobbed and swayed along with the dance beats so unfamiliar to this grand venue. Vast video screens of epic icescapes and microscopic organisms. The huge swelling sound from the orchestra vibrating through our seats, the pure power of Bjork's voice slicing through the air. The rattle of the bells hidden beneath her red feathered skirt, each time she jumped forward and back, like a child trying to stamp on their own shadow. So inspiring. So what have I done lately that is in anyway this creative? As a wise man once said, Do Something Pretty While You Can.